I have lost my throat
every time I try to
swallow or speak
there is nothingness

there are folds in
my grey blanket
that don’t go away
even if I stroke firmly

the nothingness is hungry
every time I think about
the things that happened
she grows like my offenders

maybe I will loose my esophagus next
or my teeth if I could choose
I would decide for the latter
because than I at least
could continue to vomit
into the void