I do not have to find
words or I don’t know
some violet yarn for
the meaning

uuh, look at her gaze
(someone points at me)
because I did smile, yes,
and it was obvious I did not
mean it

you see

I do not have to explain
myself or why I do vomit
or why my teeth are
rotting

I do not

because you
do not have to explain
yourself or why you still
support abusers or why
you hug them

even though you know

you
all
know

but you still–

as if someone
would hold a gun
to your head
and would pull the trigger

if you do not

so no

I really do not
have to explain myself
why I smile at you
and do not mean it

spinning my yarn
producing more and more