so I have told
you everything
except their names
because this obv I can’t
as you must know
everything I write
is fiction even
if it did happen to me

what the fucking hell
is wrong with you

so the names would be made up too
and you don’t need to be afraid
of what will happen next I’m just
gonna tell you everything
evey story line I thought about
as I am just a story
of abusive relationships I am just
a nude saved on a a creeps
desktop I am just
a delusional girl a victim
a complicit an enabler
to their abusive behaviour

and over all I am just
a fictional character
in an author’s mind
it has nothing to do
with reality and real life
no one ever broke my heart
and gaslighted me for years
I just thought it would be a
good dramatic story

also none of the guys had a
problem with alcohol or with
my writing, and none of the guys
slept with several of my colleagues
I just invented this because I
like telenovelas I’m a huge fan of
90210 and vampire diaries.

and I also never have to go to events
thinking about with how many in the room
I share a sexual history, this I just made up
influenced by PornHub and Elizabeth Hardwicks
Seduction and Betrayal

And none of the guys have published books
without mentioning my impact on their writing
in public once because I could not behave myself
correctly (the hysterical bitch I am),
this I just made up as I am an excellent writer
thinking up fantastic stories

so you see

as my grandmother always told me
my fantasy is wilder
than it is good for me

I guess

I should have listened to her
but at least this way

I can tell you everything