With my mouth down
your tongue in
hot shower steam
I drip away

(deep!)

you poor yourself
all over/into me

(more!)

I can’t stand the heat
and you curl yourself up
into a sulking ball
rocking
one side
to the other
an abandoned deer

(oh, please, more!)

„You’ll get used to this“
and hot showers
and empty promises
and inconsistencies

(take me, take my self!)

bit by
bit by
bit
I give you just a little bit more space
to be just a little bit more full
of your self

Oh, how, selfish
for dreaming
and listening to
everything I’ve ever dreamt
and everything I’ve ever known
this can’t be real

(slap me, harder!)

if you are not

(again!)

the hero

I sleep with
your whines
and all your lies
in my hurting lap

(thin me, out, thin, thinner, me
out —)

There:
a moment of awakening,
a split-second of silence,
my deep breaths

( I )

from under the currents

( feel )

something emerges

( nothing )

a dwindling flame

make me wide, I whisper, no longer to you,
make my heart feel, no, not longer for you,

for signs of life
deep, there, in the web
of your make-believe passion

(shut)

was just
a hard-felt lesson
of another

survival.