Kategorie: Autor:innen
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Stability unit
Everything is always too much the circumstances, me, my needs, your demands the pressure to create a balance, then I am immobile, rigid and tired bored and overwhelmed, at the same time, from the life I have created for myself. The one I thought would work. Then I want to get out of this old…
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from the fingertip gardens
when I was young I learned to be scared of women, couldn’t trust one another, caution of a surgeon’s glove, and masked I never told anyone that we kissed once, a Kleenex between our mouths not because we were both girls (I was the boy anyway, always the boy) but because we thought that was…
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like dirt
scratches are bloody cracksI don’t know why I livelike that it has sthto do with you tonight my cat woke me upat 3 am and scratched me3 times (so I tricked her intoleaving my bed) I watched a horror movieabout a demon who murders humansto fall asleep I think my cat is the deviland I…
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If you ever ask
There was no fear when I found myself naked and drugged out in a Berlin hallway or when a man tried to kick me out his flat when he shook my whole body against the wall for my alarm clock seemed too loud not even a bit of it when my mother’s abuser tried to…
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Bedingungen
Einer von euch beiden erzählt über das Grinsen auf euren Lippen, wenn mein Name von ihnen fällt. Der Andere spricht von Lügen. Einer von euch erzählt mir die Geschichte, ich kann die Lügen nicht erkennen. Einer von euch beiden legt eine Linie der andere einen Kreis. Einer von euch spricht immer mit der Tür, die…
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Aus dir
Ob wir vor 70 Jahren schon in der Psychiatrie gelandet werden, frage ich dich. Das geführte Gespräch verschwindet im Nichts. Alles was nicht aus dir kommt ist Staub. Du schreibst vomit. Ich sage Es ist gut, dass es da steht. Wir lecken uns die Wangen. Alles aus dir ist Glitzer.
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of course I believe you
when I was 10 years old I likedlistening to Power of love total eclipse of my heartor the winner takes it allspinning in circlesthrough the living room you seeif you open yourself upwhich also meansif you break for others to seeand tell them what has happened they will not say anymoreit was your own faultthey…
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continue to vomit into the void
I have lost my throatevery time I try to swallow or speakthere is nothingness there are folds in my grey blanketthat don’t go awayeven if I stroke firmly the nothingness is hungryevery time I think about the things that happenedshe grows like my offenders maybe I will loose my esophagus nextor my teeth if I…
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history of violence
I only know violence in Germanso I it seems I can escape in any other language you seeeverything that happened to meevery word engraved under my skinist dabut not here but it is exhaustinglike I have turned up the heator unlocked a new levelin processing what has happened it wasn’tjust a feeling es war ja…
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a pathetic message about meaning under a stone
I took the nightjet to Paristo fuck a person I met on feeldit was as importantas visiting de Beauvoirs and Sartres grave to fuck a strangerwhile holding my girlfriends hand I cried in front of the grave stonein the heat of the summerafter following google maps for seemingly hoursit had 35,6 degreeand I was sorefrom…
Die gelbe Tapete 