Kategorie: balkonage
-
continue to vomit into the void
I have lost my throatevery time I try to swallow or speakthere is nothingness there are folds in my grey blanketthat don’t go awayeven if I stroke firmly the nothingness is hungryevery time I think about the things that happenedshe grows like my offenders maybe I will loose my esophagus nextor my teeth if I…
-
history of violence
I only know violence in Germanso I it seems I can escape in any other language you seeeverything that happened to meevery word engraved under my skinist dabut not here but it is exhaustinglike I have turned up the heator unlocked a new levelin processing what has happened it wasn’tjust a feeling es war ja…
-
a pathetic message about meaning under a stone
I took the nightjet to Paristo fuck a person I met on feeldit was as importantas visiting de Beauvoirs and Sartres grave to fuck a strangerwhile holding my girlfriends hand I cried in front of the grave stonein the heat of the summerafter following google maps for seemingly hoursit had 35,6 degreeand I was sorefrom…
-
I know now I am just a wrong person
That I’d rather not tell youanymore about the behaviour of our colleaguesbecause I am afraidthat you will not be ableto draw consequences for their behaviourso maybe it is betterfor our friendshipif you do not knowwhat they are capable ofso that I can still believethat you would be by my sideif you just would have known…
-
this is how I have skin in the game
I do not believe in menas a conceptwho came up with them& with underwired bras I start pullingthe skinoff my fingernailsas soon as I’m finished with the nail polishthis is howI have skin in the game A would sayI have a lot of outerbody experiences somehow violent behaviourreminds me of outer space my fingers are…
-
just to tell you what your boyfriends did
I do not carewho shares which storyand who screenshots which textaren’t we all bad art friends.it’s not easy to readsth happenedit’s easier to scroll away oh the complexityof rooms!(they are waggons on a train riding through a Geisterbahneven if the AI tells me otherwise)I do not knowwhat ZUCKERWATTE means in Englishbut I would buy us…
-
every message is malformed
Kafka is such a bitch to configuratesomeone says in a zoom callI am also no profi when it comes to Kafkasomeone else answers Jay Kreps liked Kafkas workand found his name fitting for„a system optimized for writing“ every message is malformedKafka says
-
in my museum of fatigue
maybe it is easier not to write in germanabout …(je ne pense pas, je dis) who will beg me to not enquire further (Anne Sexton) somewhere I read about asking questionswithout question marks I have stopped listeningto voice messagesand started smokingbefore 11 am Forrest-Thomson wrote about dark rooms & the economics of love (S. 6/S.18,…
-
a collection of nudes from contemporary artists
the last few days I lay in bedfalling in and out of sleepbinging 3 body problem and girls5evaand if I couldn’t go back to sleepI masturbated fantasizing of someone choking meor me licking a stranger’s feetbecause this was easier thanthinking of the man I thought had loved mewhen in reality he justseduces women to have…
-
a cure for minds unwell
wenn eine person dir vermittelt dass sie dich liebt also vermittelt bedeutet dir das sagt mehrfach und sich so verhält wenn also eine person das gemacht hat und dann auch nudes von dir bekommen hat weil du diese person lange kanntest weil du dachtest eig ihr wäret befreundet ihr ward doch zuerst befreundet und du…