Die gelbe Tapete

chronology of shame | #16

Context: https://diegelbetapete.com/2026/08/17/chronlogy-of-shame-pretext/

The past days flew by at the speed of a space shuttle. I feel equally catapulted into new worlds, new scents, old ideas, new intentions.

From X to X, I was with him and X in X at his home. This was such a bold move to invite me. And we functioned so well, the three of us, crazy how people who are purely & genuinely interested in the well-being of the group & oneself can interact respectfully and full of care.

I felt so comfortable addressing all my discomforts and we hugged and we talked and we cried a little from time to time…

He & I discuss a lot and if we don’t understand each other we get heated and desperate, because for this moment in time there’s no other thing in the world to achieve but to see the other person’s point of view and find some common ground and/or genuine understanding amidst it all. We cried a lot on the way back because there was a gap between our thoughts and how we communicated them, and once we had resolved most of it, we cried so much more because it all was such a beautiful, respectful debate.

I’m wondering whether my strong feelings for him impact my judgement. It’s good to know that no one-to-one relationship is implied in any of it, it is good to know that we can love each other and have that be one fine part of many in our lives. I am slightly worried though by his friends circle, the younger ones, who are prone to drugs, who remind me of the kids I always wanted to be but never really was because I’ve always been too much interested in the composition of the earth and our role in it. I see his comfort though and appreciate his decision, his conscious decision, to model a part of his life like that. And I wonder how much me not being them will affect all of it.

…

||

riesuta

←
→

Hinterlasse einen Kommentar