Context: https://diegelbetapete.com/2026/08/17/chronlogy-of-shame-pretext/

…

Yesterday, when we resolved a conflict, I felt as peaceful as I had never felt in my entire life. I asked him what this feeling was and he said, that’s how it feels to resolve something. He feels this all the time.

In the evening, I could not relax. I was constantly on edge, afraid to do something wrong, to lose my peace, and by being so anxious about that, I never managed to find it in the first place. I tried to ground myself with the tool he had given me, but only got a little calmer, not grounded. It takes very long breaths, very long moments of silence for me to somewhat relax…

My body is tense. My chest is tight. My shoulders are cautious.

I no longer have to run. I am safe. I can find myself now. Myself is here. Within me. My ego keeps blocking the view. I want to live, it screams. And I say, you can live, but you do not get to decide. I decide. For I am not you. I am a free individual with great passions and much to tell. You have protected me for a very long time, and I do thank you for that. But now it’s time for me to move on, to become the person I am meant to be. You stay with me, but now I will take your hand – not the other way around – and I will show you the true beauty of life.

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