Die gelbe Tapete

chronology of shame | #39

Context: https://diegelbetapete.com/2026/08/17/chronlogy-of-shame-pretext/

Yesterday, I collected him from the airport. I still felt a slight discrepancy between us, but we also felt so normal and loving, I am positive we will work it out. We made out and went out. As it got late, he asked me what I wanted to do – I said I’d prefer to just be in a small group. A little while later he said he preferred to go home but he didn’t say whether just the 2 of us or with other people and I didn’t ask because I assumed that it would be the 2 of us. At home, his friends called and they came by. We had a short argument about me not knowing. I said I should’ve asked – although I actually couldn’t have ‚cause I didn’t think this was an option. He called that lying. I think I was claiming control over the situation and looking for ways to blame myself. We let it go and it was fine.

Things to do better:

Ich habe ihn nicht gefragt, wie er die Zeit gestalten will und habe dann gemerkt, dass ich sehr auf ihn fixiert war, während er mit anderen Menschen connecten wollte. Bisher hat immer er mich proaktiv gefragt, was wir wie gestalten wollen. Das nächste Mal möchte ich ihn fragen. Kann ich heute davon etwas anwenden? Ich kann generell versuche, proaktiv zu sein – Videos schicken, Wünsche, Verständnis und Interesse zeigen. [checkbox unticked]

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riesuta

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